a dun da dun…da dun da dun….Since you were a little girl you’ve been thinking, dreaming, and planning your wedding. From the moment you wrapped a bed sheet around your head and walked step-together, step-together around your parent’s living room, you have been brainstorming ideas for your perfect day.

The first thing you need to do, other than saying yes when your future husband gets down on one knee and pops the question, is to decide exactly what kind of wedding you want to have. In other words, you need a theme. From your theme everything else falls into place. For my own August wedding, I choose a nautical theme. My theme was actually a reflection of our destination, which was The Boat House restaurant in New Baltimore, NY. It was right on the river, with many boats on the docks, so a nautical theme was obvious and very easy to work with.

One theme I had originally considered was a beach themed wedding. I thought of having an intimate affair for close friends and family, with informal dress and seafood entrées. I did, however, reconsider when I needed to come up with a contingency plan in case of rain. A beach wedding would have been beautiful, but a rained out wedding with our guests crowded under an old pavilion would have been a disaster.

As I mentioned earlier, once you pick your theme, everything else falls into place. It’s important to choose a venue early since many places book up months in advance. If you’re having a church wedding, you have double duty to book both the church and the reception location. If you choose not to have a church wedding, many places are accommodating for both a ceremony and reception. Also, when picking a location you will need to have an estimate of how many people will be attending in order to select a location of the appropriate size. A tentative guest list is a must. For my wedding we included about 50 of our closest family and friends in order to keep it small, intimate, and inexpensive.

Along with location you need to decide on a date. For me, it was a time that the restaurant had available. Many people get the date they want, but if your heart is absolutely set on a certain date, be sure to make you reservations with plenty of time to spare. After the date is picked, many brides choose to send out “save the date” cards to let others know of the upcoming affair in the hopes that many of the guests can attend.

As you begin to get your details in order, you can choose and send out your invitations and response cards. Remember to send them out with plenty of time before the wedding. I personally did not bother with response cards, and just asked our guests to RSVP by telephone. I also chose not to make up table cards, allowing everyone to sit where they wanted. I didn’t find them necessary, and this also saved us money.

This is also the time you will need to choose your wedding officiate. This can be a judge, priest, rabbi, etc. You need to make sure all of your paper work is in order. It would be a shame to go though all the rituals of a wedding and at the end of the day have it not be a legitimate ceremony. Remember to bring your birth certificates when applying for your marriage license.

Along with your theme, you need to choose colors. These colors will be for your flowers, bridesmaids’ dresses, table clothes, etc. My personal colors were light and dark blue to go along with my nautical theme, which matched the blue water surrounding us.

In planning for dresses for the bridesmaids, you first need to decide who they will be. In my own small wedding my sister was my maid of honor and I had no other bridesmaids. Since I had only one person, I left much of the decision of dress style up to her, with no need to match anyone else. What she chose was a beautiful dark blue, spaghetti-strap dress with a matching scarf and strappy silver shoes. Some brides take into consideration the opinions of the bridesmaids when choosing a dress. However, if you have many girls, differing opinions can lead to conflict. Keep in mind the bride should have the final say. And don’t forget the shoes! You should also decide on a flower girl dress or dresses at this time.

Flowers play an important role in setting the mood for a wedding. You need to pick what kinds of flowers you want, as well as the style of bouquet. The season of year that your wedding falls during will impact the types of flowers you can choose from. You can have any assortment you wish, but there are many books available with pre-designed bouquet pictures that can help you get an idea of what you like. My maid of honor’s bouquet and my own were made up of similar flowers, but different styles. They both contained big white lilies with smaller blue flowers and filled in with greens. My sister’s bouquet was made to be carried sideways, resting on her arm, and was long and thin. Mine was much larger. Both had long and visible stems, with mine having them wrapped in white ribbon and pearl-ended pins holding it all together.

My brother-in-law made a good point when we began to discuss the cake. While the rings, ceremony, and party afterwards are all mainly for you, the cake is for your guests, so make sure you give it a lot of thought and pick something nice. When choosing a cake you will need to decide on shape, size, icing, and filling flavor, as well as design, colors, and cake topper. This sounds complicated, but the process is actually really fun.

The company I went with for my wedding was Kay’s Cakes. My husband’s grandparents owned a restaurant for many years, and whenever they had an event, Kay was the women they went with. My cake turned out beautiful and delicious. It was all white with little ribbon and pearl details. The topper was a big heart and wedding bell with lace and pearl details. It was a white cake with vanilla pudding filling. Our guests loved it.

Along with the cake you will need a knife and server. My sister actually had hers monogrammed with her and her husband’s names and their wedding date three years ago. These become nice keepsakes after the wedding, along with the bride and groom’s toasting glasses.

In addition to the cake you need to choose options for the appetizers and entrées. How many different meals can your guests choose from? I went with a buffet style, allowing each guest to choose what they wanted. We had a selection of about 5 different appetizers, with entrées of sirloin tips, chicken marsala , and filet of sole.

Open or cash bar is also a tough decision. I personally went for the cash bar since coffee, tea, water, and soda was included with the food. The main reason for a cash bar was price. Our wedding budget would have been much higher had we included an open bar.

When decorating your tables for the reception you include centerpieces and wedding favors. The possibilities of what you can do are endless, and it’s a lot of fun to mix and match to see what looks good. You can use flowers for table centerpieces, but this can get expensive when you include it with bouquets, boutonnieres, and flowers for family members of the bride and groom if you wish. For my wedding the centerpieces were large glass bowls with floating blue flowers. The bowls were surrounded by blue flower petals on the table. Some restaurants have centerpieces that you can use, or there are a number of websites that give instructions on how to make your own centerpieces that are actually quite nice.

Wedding favors can be diverse too. They can be anything from candles, and small statues, to coffee and chocolate. Be aware that these prices will add up quickly once you multiply by your number of guests. I’ve seen a number of very neat wine and shot glasses that are personalized with the bride and groom’s names and wedding date, but they can be pricy. For my wedding I ordered small notebooks with our names and date personalized in blue on the cover. I choose these notebooks because I thought they were very cute, as well as practical because they can be used often by anyone as opposed to a candle that the men may not have appreciated.

D.J. or band? You will need to decide this too. I hired a D.J. for my wedding. But, to be honest, I was not very pleased with him. Not only did he pronounce our last name wrong when introducing us as Mr. and Mrs., but I also did not love his choice of music for the reception, other than our wedding song which we picked. I would suggest hiring a D.J. with good reputation, and preparing a song list ahead of time. The wedding song is a very important decision to be made by husband and wife as it will remind you of your love and your wedding day for the rest of your life. For our wedding song, we chose Far Away by Nickleback.

The honeymoon is something you and your future husband will need to discuss. There are tons places to travel to, but they can be pricy. I have recently heard of couples registering for plane tickets with travel agents along with their wedding gifts. In registering for traditional wedding gifts such as silver ware, etc. you can either visit the store in person, or register online. My husband and I chose not to register as many people gave us gifts of money for our wedding. We did not have a honeymoon because my husband had just gotten a new job and could not take any time off yet. I was also returning to college shortly and had to get organized. We also had our then four-month-old baby girl to take care of, who would have been difficult to travel with. We did however get one great night in the Best Western presidential suite, followed by a day trip with my family who I don’t get to see very often.

Now, of course there’s something missing from this whole wedding picture, but don’t worry, I saved the best for last, the bridal dress. This was my favorite part. My dress was gorgeous. White with spaghetti straps, a tight, corset like top, and a puffy bottom. There were beautiful pearl and lace details throughout the whole dress, which is why I wanted pearls for my flowers and cake as well.

Of course, the groom, best man, and other groomsmen need tuxedos and shoes. Don’t forget your little ring bearer either. I left the planning of these details up to the groom. Us brides have enough to worry about, right?

Other wedding must-haves include a guestbook and pen, a bride’s card bag for the reception, a pillow for the ring bearer, a basket for the flower girl(s), and any other decorations you wish to have. For me this included a trellis that I decorated with fake white flowers that we stood under while we were married on the deck overlooking the river. Also, don’t forget to get your wedding rings. They can be given as a surprise the day of the wedding, or picked out together.